Scars are Beautiful: Monday Motivation #29
Retrospection can be scary .. and scar-ry
This week I started working on my self-help book again. I have been hesitant to look back on it and edit it because I dislike the woman who wrote those essays.
- She was scarred.
- And weak.
- And the essays describe a thought process and way of life that was sometimes so tiresome.
But I am taking a class on novel writing and the instructor expects that we have books “at the ready” because we are all aspiring authors.
And I am an aspiring author … with books… lots of books … in various states of completion. But none were as ready as this one based on the assignments he gave us.
This was only book that would meet the need.
I turned to this self-help book of essays and I edited it a bit and pieced together the essays into a manuscript that would flow logically and …
I read a few of them.
At first I just read a paragraph or two…sort of as a guilty peek into my world of ‘what once was.’
And then I arrived at one that was especially painful to write; I remember feeling poignant and teary at the end – as if I’d spit out the final remnants of a remarkably bad cold or virus. I settled into the couch a little deeper, took a deep breath and a sip of my coffee and resolved to give the essay a “fair shake.”
Funny thing is I was touched by what I’d written. I felt sadness and pity for the woman who wrote those words, but the intent and emotions that I had wanted to convey were absolutely there.
So here is what I learned in my little retrospective:
- I am not that woman anymore
- It is amazing to see how far I have come
- My scars have helped shape me into the woman I am today.
The Apple of my Own Eye
That last little bit is so bittersweet.
We hope to never be hurt in life. We sometimes spend great effort vetting people and experiences so that they won’t hurt us or so that we can do our damnedest to prevent them from doing so.
And yet eventually we still get hurt.
Those things that hurt us also teach us life’s lessons. And they sometimes change the course of our lives.
No matter what happens in life, really, all is simply stimuli – some good, some bad – but nearly none are insurmountable.
Scars do leave us marked, whether physically or emotionally – but they don’t have to leave us incapacitated.
This reminds me of a picture I took a couple weeks back – of something else that had been scarred. It had been shadowed for what was apparently its entire life – and yet once I saw it, I was delighted but the beauty of the scar.
It was an apple. An apple whose leaf had shadowed one specific area from getting sunlight for most of its existence – and I thought it was the most amazing thing to see.
The apple was absolutely fine – even gorgeous – despite its scar (or maybe because of its scar). It was as juicy and succulent as ever and if I’d been blind, I’d not have known the difference.
Consider the apple when you think about your scars – especially your emotional ones. There is no reason to allow scars to become a shield or a weapon against further vulnerability.
You are beautiful. And amazing and wonderful and lovable and yes, scarred and imperfect.
As you stand.