Validation and Its Impact on Self Esteem: Monday Motivation #28

Heading out…

When I retired from the military I thought “YAY!  I am free to be whatever I want!”

And then I went right back to the same old thing … but as a contractor.  Less respect, less appreciation, less pay, and a new found sense of discontent at work – something I’d never known before.

So when the opportunity arrived to retire “for real,” I did it.

And I was sure that I would be off and running to my new life of ONLY doing things that make me happy.

In search of …

I wrote a book last year – even while I was working full time.

It was a release and I loved the feeling of returning to something that I find so much fulfillment in.

But somehow in trying to now focus full time on “Becoming An Author” (picture those words reverberating and echoing and sounding deep and ominous) – I think I lost sight of what I was doing.

This summer has been a haphazard one of keeping the calendar full – and yet, I am emerging from the chaos to find that I am still “in search of…”


I settled down at the end of last week as some of my classes ended and I asked myself “what are you actually doing? How do you decide what to spend time on?  And why do you still feel like you ‘aren’t there yet?’”

Truth is, I hypothetically COULD sit around the house and eat bon bons all day and I would survive – except that nagging desire to BE PRODUCTIVE.

Turns out that I wanted to be able to say that I am something.  I wanted to VALIDATE my worth with a new title.

Who says you're a VIP?

Who says you’re a VIP?

No title, no worth.  Right?

This week’s podcast takes a look at what that validation piece is about and how I am addressing it this week.


If you don’t have time to listen, here is a quick theme to give you something to think about:

  • When you do something, decide something, go somewhere – ask yourself WHY you are doing it.
  • If concepts of obligation or feelings of being overwhelmed or of resenting your requirement to participate enter into the picture … If joy isn’t part of the equation – YOUR joy, your personal unadulterated smile isn’t part of the plan,…
  • Then maybe ask yourself this: “Is my participation an attempt at making myself worthy in someone else’s eyes?”  “What are my motivations to engage in this activity and are they authentic? “

This week in the middle of summer, before school starts spinning us up again, before we get busy prepping for the holidays – this is a perfect week to focus on yourself and your joy.

If you liked this post, you’ll probably also like: Self Talk Equals Self Esteem and In this Skin


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About ExaltedPeacock

Finding cool new things each day to love about me & those around me. Everyone is peacock beautiful. Celebrate it!

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