Validation and Its Impact on Self Esteem: Monday Motivation #28
When I retired from the military I thought “YAY! I am free to be whatever I want!”
And then I went right back to the same old thing … but as a contractor. Less respect, less appreciation, less pay, and a new found sense of discontent at work – something I’d never known before.
So when the opportunity arrived to retire “for real,” I did it.
And I was sure that I would be off and running to my new life of ONLY doing things that make me happy.
In search of …
I wrote a book last year – even while I was working full time.
It was a release and I loved the feeling of returning to something that I find so much fulfillment in.
But somehow in trying to now focus full time on “Becoming An Author” (picture those words reverberating and echoing and sounding deep and ominous) – I think I lost sight of what I was doing.
This summer has been a haphazard one of keeping the calendar full – and yet, I am emerging from the chaos to find that I am still “in search of…”
I settled down at the end of last week as some of my classes ended and I asked myself “what are you actually doing? How do you decide what to spend time on? And why do you still feel like you ‘aren’t there yet?’”
Truth is, I hypothetically COULD sit around the house and eat bon bons all day and I would survive – except that nagging desire to BE PRODUCTIVE.
Turns out that I wanted to be able to say that I am something. I wanted to VALIDATE my worth with a new title.
No title, no worth. Right?
This week’s podcast takes a look at what that validation piece is about and how I am addressing it this week.
If you don’t have time to listen, here is a quick theme to give you something to think about:
- When you do something, decide something, go somewhere – ask yourself WHY you are doing it.
- If concepts of obligation or feelings of being overwhelmed or of resenting your requirement to participate enter into the picture … If joy isn’t part of the equation – YOUR joy, your personal unadulterated smile isn’t part of the plan,…
- Then maybe ask yourself this: “Is my participation an attempt at making myself worthy in someone else’s eyes?” “What are my motivations to engage in this activity and are they authentic? “
This week in the middle of summer, before school starts spinning us up again, before we get busy prepping for the holidays – this is a perfect week to focus on yourself and your joy.