Cute Dust Bunnies? Monday Motivation #13

“Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul”
Imagine

I came across that quote a few weeks ago and it has hung around…

thickening the air I breathe …

whispering itself in my ear at random times …

bringing the promise of belonging.

The thought of being understood completely nearly makes me swoon with giddy hopefulness.  Could someone really understand me in such a way?

Being understood feels like …

Unconditional acceptance.  If someone took the time to know and understand me, surely that would mean they accept me.

Acceptance is a warm heavy blanket.  The kind that braces me against the cold heartless  judgmental world.  It grounds me.  It shields me.  It reminds me of visiting my mother in California where my bed in her guest room had four or five blankets of varying materials and thicknesses; when I climbed into bed, I was embraced all night under the weight of the bedding – every nerve sated by direct contact.

The truth is, giving myself acceptance to start with (in the form of self-love) is exactly what I work on as I get up in the morning and try to live with my arms wide open.  I want that kind of grounded feeling all day every day and I strive to find it and hold tight to it.

Still, getting it from someone else is a different lovely kind of feeling.  I have a few kindred spirits that are sewn into the tapestry of my life: people whom I accept who also accept me – all of me – even my flawed and scarred parts.

I love them dearly.

And they love me.

Humanity in family

I wrote in InHumanity about how family sometimes really twists us… and yet, often they understand us as well… even our dustiest corners.

They were there when we swept the dust from the center of the room and off into the places people never look.  They sometimes lived those dirty experiences with us or witnessed us dealing with them as we grew up together.

They are the urn where the ashes of shame and hurts and pains past still live.

My sister understands me like no one else.  We seldom talk much anymore but it does not erase the insights we have into each others’ psyches; nor does it diminish the unconditional acceptance that we have for one another.  Yes, it is true that family was the initial tie that bound us, but instead of the noose that so many family members make for each other, she and I fashioned that tie into a beautiful macramé hammock where our love and interaction lay in wait, content until our lives’ schedules coincide.

Perhaps sometimes humanity is humane 😉

And knowing that makes it easier to…

Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul.

Exalted Peacock Logo

Who already loves you even with your “dusty corners?” Do you have ideas on how to help others (including me) to love ourselves completely, without requiring change?

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About ExaltedPeacock

Finding cool new things each day to love about me & those around me. Everyone is peacock beautiful. Celebrate it!

6 responses to “Cute Dust Bunnies? Monday Motivation #13”

  1. Charlene says :

    I use to think I had someone who loved and accepted me the way you describe. It was a wonderful feeling, but that kind of closeness hurt me more in the long run when it came to light that it was acceptance of my dust bunnies with strings attached, when it was only convenient for them. 😦

    After watching a documentary, Hungry For Change, they suggested writing on a post-it on your mirror, “I accept myself, unconditionally, right now!” They say to say that to yourself, everyday, twice a day, and after about 28 days, you start to believe it and truly accept yourself. I have been doing it for a week and so far so good.

    • Exalted Peacock says :

      I accept myself unconditionally, right now. I like that. I love the idea of affirmations. We get what we believe and affirmations really help us believe things that help us move forward

  2. Megan says :

    To change at will is loving someone more than you love yourself. Although sacrifice in any measure is an honorable thing, it can compromise our very being if we give too much away to make room for someone else’s desired “change.” I think the hardest thing in life is feeling accepted… It comes with an unrealistic guilt that we must be perfect and willing to molded. Bottom line, if someone doesn’t love you with all of your dusty corners, they are only trying to find more room to fit their own cobwebs 😉 Be a peacock!!!

    • Exalted Peacock says :

      Megan, I totally agree that changing at will is random and selfless to a point where you actually erase yourself. I lived that kind of life for quite some time… trying to become what my husband wanted or at least avoiding being what he DIDN’T want; UGH! The work and toil just to find that there was always yet another something that just wasn’t quite right in his eyes.
      In the end, changing can be good – cleaning out the dusty corners CAN be something worth putting time and effort into, but only if it is done because YOU are sick of the dust. All else is a futile attempt at conformity and a gouge out of our own self-esteem. 😦
      And with regard to feeling accepted being the hardest thing in life (heavy sigh and heavy heart) – I don’t think it NEEDS to be that way. I think it is that way for some of us because that sense of belonging feels like it has to be earned. It’s hard work trying to show others how worthy we are of their love and understanding — of their acceptance of us just as we are. I wrote about that actually earlier this year: “I am beautiful, I am lovable. And these things need not be earned.” (My Funny Valentine)
      Thank you so much for your comment and for giving me even more to think on 🙂

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