Always Wear Your Invisible Crown – Monday Motivation #9
I’m tired this week:
… worn down by allowing work to get to me – and by being sick with a righteous head cold. In short, I feel pretty bad.
It’s days like today that I am reminded of my very real and living, breathing need to remind myself of my lovability …
… lest I forget and start a mantra of negative self-talk. Why is that monologue so readily available? It’s almost like it waits in the wings for a moment’s silence to drive me as crazy as Whoopi Goldberg was after a day listening to Pat Swayze belt out “Henry the VII” in the movie Ghost. But I digress.
It was under these depressing grey circumstances that I rose today, head pounding each heart beat into my temples, and headed to the kitchen to find breakfast.
“Think of a wonderful thought. Any merry little thought, Think of Christmas, think of snow, think of sleigh bells, here we go!”
In my head, this is the song I sing when I feel myself slipping. Peter Pan and TinkerBell can drown out that negative inner monologue any day (at least that’s my hope)!
Which way will I lean?
I began to reheat soup that my beautiful thoughtful friend brought over yesterday. “Blessing #1,” I remind myself.
But as the microwave hummed, I opened the door to let the dog out: “too sunny, too cold, it’s already so late and my blog isn’t done, I have to work tonight, I’m so sick and so tired, and this sucks!”
It seemed the negatives far outweighed the positives and I began to lean in depression’s favor.
Returning to my bed with the dog in tow and a warm bowl of soup in hand, I swept the tissues aside that I’d strewn over the floor all thru the night and plopped myself onto my bed.
“Maybe that’s all I can handle today,” and I forgave myself in advance for being lazy and for missing Monday Motivation for the first time. I even gave myself permission to call in sick.
I blew my nose for the thousandth time and thru the tissue on the pile my foot had just swept aside. “Who needs a clean house anyway?”
Why is it that the drive down into negativity seems to be so damned easy? It’s more like a slide really: just let go and you will soon find yourself at the bottom.
I slurped my soup straight from the bowl. “Screw the spoon!”
This broth is way too good to be swallowed one tablespoon at a time
As the broth’s sustenance filled my empty belly and the aroma flew thru my nose to some deep cranial pleasure center, I relaxed into my fluffed and propped pillows and tentatively flipped open my laptop.
“Maybe I’ll just TRY to blog today. The day isn’t over quite yet.”
Another sip, “Mmmmm, thank you Charlene,” I whispered to an empty room.
And then I saw it: the picture that I had set as my motivation and reminder of what today’s blog would be:
In that instant, fortified by Charlene’s soup and reassured by Daisy’s sleeping form pressed against my thigh, I suddenly felt a resounding face palm moment.
“So what if I’m sick? Blogging is fun and I actually look forward to finding out what I will pen to paper each week.” (That’s the truth – I generally have no idea what will come out).
“And who cares if the house is a mess – I can clean it up on another day when I feel better!”
My son finally woke and came groggily slogging into my room; he flopped onto my bed and gave me a gravely-voiced, “Hey, mom,” before lazily petting good morning to Daisy. My soul smiled at the sight of him and the sound of his voice.
I’d lost count already but the positives were outweighing the negatives for sure by this point.
And so I pressed on to find and fashion my own visual crown.
Along the way, I found a cool article about “No Make-up Mondays,” a process begun by the Renfrew Center that treats women with eating disorders (Facebooked it). And I found another about a play called “Fat Pig” at Murray State University that questions our thoughts on self-image (Tweeted it). And I even found an article on Prevention Magazine that perfectly fit to quiet the negative self talk.
My day was in full bloom. Maybe I won’t even sleep before work. And maybe it doesn’t matter. Who cares about a cold or a messy house or work or …any of it. Those are all life circumstances — and none of them have anything to do with me or my worth or my beauty. None of them have to define me or my attitude or my day!
Today I’m wearing my invisible crown. 🙂
Have there been times when you just needed a reminder like that? When your day was headed down a nasty spiral until one simple thing helped slew your perspective to the positive?